Mar 21
2013
Mar 12
2013

Lost quotations by the greats, volume 4

 

I have decided, Louise, to take guitar lessons. Upon completing these lessons, I shall start a band. And it shall be called “The Weak Chins.” If you don’t like that idea, I would appreciate it if you would keep your feelings to yourself. I am not in the mood to have my creativity stifled just now.

-Andrew Carnegie

 

Andrew Carnegie, 1835-1919

Mar 7
2013

Lost quotations by the greats, volume 3

Some mornings I wake up with a powerful headache. The sun is beastly. But Lord I am alive. So I open the fridge and rip into a package of raw wieners with nary a glance at the best before date, and I eat as many as I can. Then I take off my nightclothes and run into the street and punch the first person I see right in the neck. Then I stand there, huffing, and somewhere a cock crows and I am sure that despite the smell of garbage this will be a good day.

- Margaret Thatcher

 

The Right Honourable Baronness Margaret Thatcher

 

Feb 7
2013

Lost quotations by the greats, volume 2

 

So you wake up super early in the morning and you rush to the airport for your flight, and the taxi driver is starting and stopping, starting and stopping, and swerving, and talking about politics. And it smells like the marriage of last night’s cigarette and shish taouk in there. You haven’t eaten. Traffic is a mess so by the time you get to the airport you’re nearly late, and the airline guy chastises you for it. Like he’s never faltered. You have to run, to get on the plane, and somewhere you drop your headphones. You still haven’t eaten! Do you have the cash for an upgrade? Ha. So you’re in economy, and someone walks down the aisle and you get this whiff of fart so powerful you know for sure, in that instant, there is no God. If you have ever been so nauseated in your life you can’t remember, so you’re praying to Non Existent God please please don’t let me throw up and humiliate myself in front of these awful strangers. Anything, all of England, for a muffin. The plane takes off and right away the enormous man in front of you leans his chair back all the way so the top of his oily head is nearly on your lap. Where is the poetry in this?

- Virginia Woolf

Virginia Woolf, 1882-1941

Jan 30
2013

Lost quotations by the greats, volume 1

 

 

Sometimes you just sit there and think: you know what? You know what? I’m going to slaughter a yak tonight. Then you don’t find a yak to slaughter and you have no idea why that ever seemed like the thing to do, and one of your slippers is lost, and there’s nothing but crap on television.

- Gandhi