When I have a night off, I like to dress up like a ninja and sneak about at night, seeing if there are any crimes I can prevent in the cities and suburbs of Canada. This is pretty boring as, despite what you may have seen on television, there isn’t much crime in this country.
So I usually end up finding a chicken place and taking off my zukin, or ninja mask, and eating alone.
From time to time, some wonderful people invite me to their book club. I prefer this to the largely disappointing ninja thing. If you would like to read Come Barbarians with your friends and then have me in your home, I will:
1. Dress up in a suit (not a ninja suit).
2. Bring a lovely bottle of Côtes du Rhône, from the region in southern France where Come Barbarians begins.
3. Provide hummus (in Alberta, where I have access to a Vitamix, it will be homemade hummus) and blue corn chips.
4. Do eight (8) consecutive hand-stand push-ups against a wall (by request only).
5. Sign copies of your books, unless they’re from the library.
6. Vacuum (by request only).